Top 10 Most Shocking Revelations Phil Savage Uncovered After Starting New Browns GM Job

By CRS Staff

 

10) Browns QB situation didn't seem so bad after spending past two years convincing self that Kyle Boller is a future Hall-of-Famer.

 

9) Discovered that someone had converted Berea draft war room into a wine cellar.

 

8) Realized a line item had been added to team budget under "J. Garcia Legal Expenses".

 

7) Discovered a handwritten manuscript in Belichick's old files, entitled, "Seven Habits Of Highly Successful Evil Geniuses".

 

6) Draft board indicated that Davis was leaning toward using #3 overall pick on either Maurice Clarett, or some random guy from Southeast Oklahoma State A&M who had great 'upside'.

 

5) Dozens of defaced Tim Couch bobbleheads found strewn all over Berea complex, many missing limbs or other body parts.

 

4) College video scouting room contained no tapes of players attending schools north of Georgia.

 

3) Unclogged the fax machine only to discover a Jeramiah Pharms arrest report had been jammed in the incoming paper feed.

 

2) Butch Davis' gut feeling found in corner of hallway supply closet, shivering and hiding under some cleaning supplies.

 

1) Found only a University of Miami football media guide in folder marked "2001 Scouting Evaluations".