For
The Love Of Grady
CRS-Exclusive
Interview With The Women Behind Grady's Ladies
April 5th, 2006
By: CRS Staff
With the dawn of a new Indians
season upon us (start slow clap now), there are a few things we know for certain; the weather is getting warmer, it's
finally baseball season, and 23 year-old outfielder Grady Sizemore is now officially the face of the up-and-coming Tribe
(well, OK, a quite wealthy 23 year-old face actually, thanks to Larry Dolan's sudden generosity). And, unless you've
been living under a rock for the past 9 or 10 months you've undoubtedly heard about his growing legion of female fans,
better known as Grady's Ladies.
You've seen the stadium signs at Jacobs Field, the Mrs. Sizemore t-shirts, the marriage proposals
originating from the centerfield bleachers (the epicenter of Gradydom), and perhaps more recently even some of the growing
press coverage they've received. Arguably the biggest
fan club of a Cleveland athlete anyone can remember (not counting Shawn Kemp's, um, large 'family'), we were curious
ourselves to learn more about the women behind it all. With that in mind, we sat down recently with Grady's Ladies originators
Hallie, Michelle, Jill, Amanda & Tiffany (or as they call themselves, 'The First Ladies') to get their thoughts on some
very important questions (like whether guys can really wear Sizemore jerseys in the post-Mrs. Sizemore t-shirt era, or what
they would do if he was ever traded). These five women launched gradysladies.com, they organize group activities for the Ladies' at The Jake (including the April 29th Grady Bobblehead Day), and generally
have been the most visible in their admiration for the guy once thought of as a throw-in to the Bartolo Colon trade of 2002.
Enjoy.
1) What is your first memory of seeing Grady Sizemore III in an Indians uniform? Was it love at first base-hit?
Tiffany: I vividly remember Grady's first appearance with the Tribe in July of 2004. I saw that
boy and instantly thought, DAYUM, now THAT'S one fine piece of loveliness. It was most definitely love at first base-hit.
Michelle: Well, I never really think about Grady IN his
uniform BUT, that is probably inappropriate, so let's see what I can come up with...hmmm.
Hallie: I don't believe starting an interview off like
this is conducive to getting actual thought-out responses. Mind immediately goes to dirty thoughts.
2) We noticed
the official name for the gradysladies.com web site is the ‘Grady’s Ladies Sisterhood’. By sisterhood, did you intentionally mean to infer a worshipful intention?
Jill: Yeah, we worship him.
Amanda: Shhh, that's our little secret.
Tiffany:
You caught us. No one was supposed to know that we hold ritualized worship sessions every day at 2:40pm. Now, everyone
will know why I disappear every day at that time.
Hallie: This question reminds me to purchase the yet-to-be-released
naked Grady bobblehead (extra bobble).
Michelle: Yes, I would definitely prefer the x-rated one
over the one they have out now, for….ahem…shrine purposes.
Hallie: Michelle! Your mother is going to read this! Grady. Extra bobble. Uniform. *head explodes*
(CRS: OK, so maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to start off with questions like these. Let’s move on.)
3) Imagine it’s
2011, and Grady is finally approaching the free agency the Indians desperately didn’t want him to see. Rather than pay him the ARod-esque megabucks he deserves, the Indians trade the 28-year old star in his
prime to the Yankees for a 47 year-old reliever and two Class A minor leaguers. Immediately
upon hearing the news, do you:
a) Begin questioning your reason for living
b) Start pricing real estate in the NYC metro area, and call the Yankees ticket office to find out if there are still
seats available behind CF
-- or
--
c) Get in your car and drive immediately to Larry Dolan’s house, stopping only to pick-up gasoline, torches, and
some matchbooks
Jill: Personally, I would do all three at once.
Tiffany: Yeah, all of the above. First I would
do ‘A’, then probably ‘C’, then I would eventually end up on ‘B’.
Michelle: Well, Grady Sizemore is Grady Sizemore, but
the Yankees are the Yankees, and I can never, ever, ever, EVER let myself root for them!
If you're a TRUE Cleveland Indians fan, you can't. So, probably ‘C’.
Hallie: I can't answer, I'm still barfing.
4) If the Indians
are ever involved in a bench-clearing brawl against a hated rival like the White Sox, would you cheer for Grady to use his
wiry strength and athletic skills to go kick some Sox butt, or would you find yourself wanting to run onto the field to protect
him from a potential facial scar?
Jill: I would be cheering him on to do some damage to
them...but I wouldn't want him to get suspended from any games or get hurt, so I'm on the fence.
Amanda: As an Indians fan I want to see the White Sox pounded into the ground.
Hallie: I find it amusing you would even ask, as if Grady
would ever be fallible enough to get hit in the face. A more appropriate question
would be, Who would win in a fight: Grady or Batman? Batman does know many forms of hand-to-hand combat, and has that cool
utility belt. Plus, the Batmobile. But,
Grady is Grady.
Michelle: Yes, Grady is Grady, so he could just look at
Batman and Batman would be done for.
Hallie: So, to summarize: Batman = Cool. Grady = Grady.
(CRS: Really didn’t see that Batman vs. Grady comparison coming when we asked this question. We sense control of this interview slipping away now…..OK, here comes a thought-provoking question
to get us back on track).
5) A lot of male
Tribe fans would like to purchase Grady Sizemore jerseys, but are afraid of looking like they may be ‘switch hitters’. Do you think guys should be able to wear Grady’s #24 proudly without being subject
to ‘Mr. Sizemore’ jokes from their friends?
Amanda: As
an employee at one of the Indians Team Shops, I have sold a good number of Sizemore jerseys to male Tribe fans.
Tiffany: Any man that is afraid to wear a Sizemore jersey is NO MAN in my eyes!
Hallie: I'm going to use a lifeline – Joe, a male
consort from the site. (calls Joe, repeats question to him).
Joe: See? It’s not just me! (CRS: Don’t worry brother, we’re pretty sure you’re not solo on this one). I'm comfortable with my own self to sport a Sizemore jersey. I
mean, it was hard enough wearing a Vizquel jersey back in the day. But if wearing
a Grady Sizemore jersey gets me more attention from hot chicks who want the jersey for themselves, I'm down with that.
(CRS: Let the run on male-sized Sizemore jerseys finally begin)
6) If Grady ever
ends up in a bad celebrity relationship with someone like Tara Reid or a Hilton sister, what steps would the Sisterhood be
willing to take to protect Grady’s best interests?
Michelle: Oh goodness, that is a toughie.
Jill: I have confidence that Grady wouldn’t do anything
stupid like that.
Tiffany: I would get a job with a sleazy gossip magazine and make it my job to follow Grady and
his slut around, so that I could monopolize all of the Grady gossip and pictures to make SURE no one else got a hold of them.
Amanda: I think there's plenty of awesome ladies around here he could choose from.
Hallie: Well, being a fan of Grady Sizemore, I have the
highest respect for him as a player and as a man. His decisions are his alone. If he finds enjoyment in dating a woman who
is shown unfavorably in the media, then that is his prerogative. I wish him the best of luck in his romantic endeavors (CRS: Let the record show Hallie’s head
nearly exploded for the second time in this interview immediately following her answer).
Hallie: Did that sound convincing?
Michelle: Could be, at least from an outsider’s
point of view.
Hallie: Excellent.
Michelle: Mwuahahahhahaha!
(CRS: Yep, we’ve lost all control of this interview. The guy from
Charlie’s Fryes was far more docile. Where did we go wrong? OK, let’s pick up the pieces here)
7) It has been
reported that Grady still spends every offseason in his hometown of Mill Creek, WA. If you had five minutes to convince Grady to stay in Cleveland
over the winter, what would be the focus of your argument?
Michelle: Five minutes, huh? Well, the focus of our argument will be….
Hallie: Cleveland
has, a great skyline? Uh…
Michelle: The Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, Great Lakes Science Center….
Hallie: Blossoming economic benefits?
Jill: Cleveland has The Grady's Ladies!
Michelle: THE LADIES!
Hallie: Damn straight.
Amanda: Hmm, Cleveland
in the winter....should definitely leave the lake effect snow and bone chilling, freezing cold out of it. How about all
the Ladies and Grady go south for the offseason? I like that idea better.
Hallie: That took considerably less than five minutes.
Time left for post-convincing drinks. On him.
(CRS: Umm, on the basis of those arguments we’re guessing we won’t be seeing Grady at a Browns game in
December anytime soon. Oh well, so much for our improving Cleveland economy. Just a couple of questions
left now…)
8) By April 29th
(the next Ladies' group activity at Jacobs Field), most Tribe fans will be waiting breathlessly to see what Grady’s
Ladies have planned for the game. What is the most valuable possession you own that you would be willing to give-up
to keep your Grady bobblehead doll?
Michelle: My soul, car, bank account (good luck there),
anything really.
Jill: I would never, ever give it up, let’s just
put it that way!
Amanda: You can’t take away my Grady bobblehead.
I will neeeeever give it up!
Tiffany: Dare I say this...my engagement ring. I mean
really, it's just a ring, right?! My poor fiance is aware of the fact that I
just may have to drop his ass if I ever had a chance with Grady.
Hallie: So, #1 I now feel an overwhelming pressure to
do something dramatic at the game. I was just gonna drink beer and be obnoxious. And
#2 - my soul? My cat? Oh, I know
- my broken Tim Couch bobblehead doll! It’s a collectible, very limited
release (CRS: You had us at hello – maybe you should have stuck with the cat
or your soul…).
9) And finally,
by what dates do you think the following events will happen:
a) The Indians win a World Series
(Everyone but Amanda): 2006 (CRS: We knew we liked these Ladies for a reason).
Amanda: 2007 (CRS: We’ve waited 42 years for a Cleveland
title, so I guess 43 wouldn’t kill us either).
b) Grady bats over .340
(Everyone): 2006 or 2007
(sidebar) Hallie: He technically hit .343 in his split season with
the Kinston Indians. But hit .340 for a full season in the majors? I say this year – 2006 (CRS: That was a great statistical
insight. Someone get The Ladies their own show on FSN Ohio).
c) Grady wins AL MVP
(Everyone): 2006 or 2007
d) Grady gets married (gasp)
Michelle: Not until they legalize polygamy!
Jill: Grady and I
will have to discuss that later *wink*.
Tiffany: I'm planning on getting married in May of ‘07, so if Grady is
a smart man and wants any piece of this fine woman, he'd better make his move.
Amanda: This is some
kind of trick question.
Hallie: Married? Does not compute.
