March 2nd, 2006

By CRS Staff

Just when I thought I had this Cavaliers team figured out, they go and start out the second half exactly the way they said they wouldn't.  Despite the doomsayers in the local media who perpetually lie in wait for the other shoe to drop, I was convinced things would be different this year.  After all, remember this is 'Year 3' of The Chosen One, when the supporting cast would finally start to gel, and this team would not just make the playoffs, but possibly even win a series or two, right?  That was apparently until our pass-first superstar decided to go Kobe at the All-Star Game, firing up shots like he was getting paid by the point.  That was followed by a lackluster performance which ended in (gasp) a chorus of boos, then a few losses later we're getting our lunch money stolen by the big bad bully Pistons.  What in the name of World B. Free is going on around here? 

For the franchise that many have said is most likely to finally break the championship drought for Cleveland (which admittedly is a little like being called the skinniest girl at Fat Camp), this team seems to take one step forward only to take two more backwards.  So what's the problem?

No real team chemistry

My first theory?  Other than LeBron, no one on this team really seems all that excited to be playing with the other guys.  They all clearly love LeBron, and in some cases, it may have even been the major reason they signed with Cleveland in the first place.  Watching them all vie for his attention is like watching a bad episode of The Bachelor - a roomful of wannabes fighting for one guy's consideration.  You can just picture Z rolling his eyes every time he sees Damon Jones strut to the foul line at the end of a 2-for-11 performance, or Drew Gooden think 'nice hair' to himself every time Varejao drives past him in the lane.  Let's just put them all on Jerry Springer now and get their issues out in the open before it's too late.

Too soft

We all saw what happened to Z in Detroit, and how no one came to the defense of the second-best player on the team.  If somebody whacked LeBron like that, you know Gloria would come out of the stands to land an elbow herself if no one else defended him.  But Z?  It's like the whole team worried about whether or not Rip and Chauncey would still hug them after the game if they actually stood up for a teammate.  If the Cavs put the Pistons any higher on a pedestal, they might qualify to be judges on Dancing With The Stars next season (By the way, sidenote - did anyone else notice the montage of video clips shown on The Q jumbotron right before Monday night's rematch, where they showed the Rasheed elbow like 87 times?  While watching it I remember thinking that if this were a Browns game, the Pistons were the Steelers, and Wallace was Joey Porter, we'd be seconds away from a full-scale riot.  Bottles thrown...fans unscrewing seats and then throwing them onto the court...complete and utter mutiny.  I'm not even kidding.  I think I may have even wet my pants at the thought).

No killer instinct

The last topic we'll consider here is potentially more worrisome than the other two combined.  This group seems to be following a troubling recent trend of Cleveland sports teams ending a season by blowing a seemingly commanding upper hand (see 2002 Browns, 2004-05 Cavaliers, 2005 Indians).  LeBron's struggles to win a game on a last second shot are well documented, and perhaps even a bit overblown, nationally.  But the fact remains that this team lacks anyone with the attitude and talent (Damon Jones has only the former) to jack up a critical shot in crunch time.  To be fair, these kinds of guys don't exactly grow on trees (Robert 'Big Shot Bob' Horry, Reggie Miller, Bird, Jordan, Magic.....Jimmy Chitwood), but is it too much to ask for a guy who can do it once in awhile?  Apparently it is. <sigh>

Hear that sound?  I think the other shoe just dropped.  Maybe the media was right after all.  See you all at The Q for the qollapse in April.