Bring On The Bungles

By CRS Staff

As we all know, the Browns finished the 2005 preseason atop the AFC North with a 3-1 record, closing out the exhibition schedule with a somewhat-impressive 16-6 win over the Chicago Bears.  Crennel's bunch have come a long way since being manhandled by the Giants first-teamers in the opening game, but how good are they?  With every national sports magazine predicting the Browns may be the biggest lock in the NFL to finish last in their division, here are some of our thoughts as we close the book on the preseason:

I think I've figured out why Cleveland fans identify so well with Charlie Frye.  Unlike a Matt Leinart or an Aaron Rodgers, this guy is about as average-looking as your next door neighbor in Parma.  If you were hoping Frye might succeed Jesse Palmer on ABC as the next Bachelor, Drew Carey probably has a better chance of being selected.  And speaking of Carey, add a beer gut and some thick glasses to Charlie and he could pass for Drew's younger brother.  Brian Sipe was so well thought of he almost went undrafted out of college, and Bernie Kosar ran like his feet were tied together.  We like our QB's to be a little flawed here.  It's a Cleveland thing.

I think one of the most head-scratching advertising campaigns I've seen in a long time was the Ohio Investigative Unit's sponsorship of the Browns 'Starting Lineup' on WOIO all preseason.  Seriously, who are they marketing to?  Since they are promoting themselves to the general public, does that mean they are available for hire?  If so, I think I will ask them to investigate how much money their agency is wasting on TV commercials.

Everyone has talked about how hard William Green has worked in the off-season to get away from the perception he is a weed-smoking head-case.  Although he had a good preseason, is anyone else concerned that he grew out his hair and now looks like Ricky Williams?  Just asking.

If the end of the preseason means the end of Bob Golic doing Browns play-by-play, thank god.  What was with him and the McDonald's 'I'm Lovin It' theme song?  I know it's been a long acting drought since his stint on Saved By The Bell: The College Years (which, sadly, only lasted one season before being canceled by the networks), but that was so bad and not funny that I began to feel embarassed for Brian Brennan & Al Rosen sitting next to him.  Golic may be a great former nose tackle and all-around good guy, but did anyone else feel like they and any two friends could make a better broadcasting team than WOIO managed to throw together this preseason?  The first game was so especially atrocious I thought I was watching one of those single-camera high school football broadcasts on cable access.